Until the End
by Silver Miko
Summary: Spoilers for Vol. 16 of X manga, Subaru reflects upon his sad destiny...and Rainbow Bridge.


Author's Note: Dark, angsty....must be CLAMP!

Spoilers for vol 16 of X manga.

Forgive me if I have Subaru refer to Hokuto as Hokuto-nee-san, and it's wrong. I'm not sure what he calls her. :D

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Until The End

By Silver Miko

_Why? _

Why was this our destiny? My destiny? I never asked for this, any of this! I never asked to have these abilities, to be someone to feel the weight of the world on their shoulders and know that I am one who must prevent the destruction of the world...

And I selfishly don't care at the moment the outcome of the final battle...I already feel dead...I haven't felt alive...since...

Since you left. Since you took her away from me, and then left me.

_Why?_

Why did you kill Hokuto? You took her from me as if she was nothing...you knew what she meant to me. And then you left me as well, betrayed....took my heart, ripped it out, left it to openly bleed until there was no feeling left.

I haven't...felt happiness...pleasure...anything.

I only felt the desire to have my final wish fulfilled. A wish that boy, Fuuma, the self-proclaimed Kamui, saw. I can't understand how he saw it, you didn't even see it in the end...perhaps it was part of his strange power...

Dragons of Heaven...Dragons of Earth...

I never asked for this. I never asked to be a Dragon of Heaven...not after everything that happened...and then I was asked to take more tragedy upon myself.

You were my opposing star, Dragon of Earth, the murdering Sakurazukamori...

I never asked for destiny to be against...us.

I just wanted....

And there we stood, both knowing this was it...the last time when something would change, and I knew deep inside it would be the last farewell...but I didn't want that knowledge present in the front of my mind.

There you stood, so casual with those dark glasses, hiding the one beautiful amber eye, and the false cold glass eye...

The eye that was my doing...when you had protected me.

I've never come to terms with that.

Those days....how I want to...

You thought I wanted your death by own hands? I know you believed in such even as you teased me...taunted me...

Stirring something within my heart....

You could never leave me alone, even thought you left...

That was not my wish...my wish was...for an end. An end to this dark destiny that has plagued me since birth, an end to all this emptiness I feel, an end to the Sumeragi...end of the onmyouji, end of the Dragon of Heaven, end of Subaru....my ending.

I wanted you to kill me. That was my wish. You to kill me by your own hand. I couldn't take it anymore...living but feeling dead inside.

I knew things could never go back to those days, no matter how much I wished it, how much I wanted to be able to look at you and not feel so despaired.

Now here I sit in the dark....the light is too much.

Rainbow Bridge...the landmark of an end...the monument and culmination of my sorrow...

Where you took your last breath, made your last revelation.

__

'Seishirou-san...you always...say the thing I last expect..'

Why did you wait until then to tell me? You knew....my feelings...

That was all I could say, no reply...but I'm sure you knew.

No more. This is the last time...I will stand with the Dragons of Heaven, give it all to protect the Earth that others love, the place where we all met and were once happy....I will give my life for this...

Until the end, I will wait...and I will fight...I don't care what happens to me anymore as long as those others...those who still have lives and dreams...as long as they live through it I will help them.

I don't care if I die.

Until the end, when this tragic destiny ends...when my last breath has gone...

Until the end, when I can see you again, even if I must burn in Hell for it...

Until the end, Seishirou-san....when I can give you my proper reply...

Wait for me, Seishirou-san....Hokuto-nee-san....

Until the end...


End file.
